Being energetic

i have often been asked, what keeps me energised. whats the secret of my enthusiasm. i pondered long and deep. and it comes down to a beautiful word in urdu. 

हैरानियत (hairaniyat)

the state of being in wonderment. 

its multilayered, this word. 

at the very least being in wonderment fills me with appreciation and gratitude. i like the way it feels. so i keep searching for things that keep me in wonderment. and the more i look, the more i find.

then again, i know life is, and will always be, a pendulum swinging back and forth, between the good and the bad and the ugly. being in wonderment helps dealing with the bad and the ugly. it keeps me upbeat just long enough for the pendulum to eventually swing in a rosier direction. 

isnt that a bit delusional? 

am i overlooking, even belittling, things that may grow behind my back and eventually sock me in the face when i am least expecting?

interestingly the word in urdu for the bad and the ugly is हैवानियत (haiwaniyat). and i can see why one should be wary of this darkness. haiwaniyat sounds very powerful, very sinister, very persistent. and i can also see why it may seem delusional to look away from something so bad. 

so i pondered more, dug deeper. and the beauty of it all revealed itself. hairaniyat doesn't force you to look away, it helps find something good in the darkest of things. and once that good is found it begins to eat the darkness away, from inside. slowly, steadily. 

ofcourse, the darkness will sock me in the face, knock me down, drive me into rage and despair but i know it's losing and i know it cant keep me down forever. i know i eventually will be back on top. 

and that fills me with energy.

and that is my secret